Stop Talking About It Mama!

Let me start off by saying that my son Corban has a fear of needles. His isn’t afraid like my being afraid of snakes or spiders, instead, his fear is debilitating. He is so afraid that he has to be held down and he yells for someone to help him. He is articulate enough to explain his fear. He tells his dad and me, as well as the nurses, that he is afraid because he knows it will hurt. He always says “Give me just a minute" and “It’s going to hurt so bad!” This just crushes me. I think I end up crying harder than he does.

Well, when we took him to the ER Friday night (he had pneumonia, strep, and sepsis), he had to have an IV…terrible, I know. Well, we weren’t lucky enough for that IV to last because it slipped after a couple of days and they had to put a new one in. So, the battle began again. As the nurses were working on him, I was holding him and turning his face to mine…I could see the overwhelming fear in his eyes, so I was saying “Give your fears to Jesus baby.” Yeah, right! Corban looked at me and said “Stop talking about it mama! You’re making me think about it.”

Right in the middle of the chaos I heard the Lord say “See, this is what I have been trying to tell YOU.” Humbled, I told Corban that he was right and, after the procedure was over, I sat down and began to examine myself and let the Holy Spirit reveal some things to me. Funny, when you sit still and listen, (and stop trying to analyze everything), God will show you so many things. This is not always an easy thing to do, but it is imperative in order to grow. This is what He showed me: I always give God my fears and needs, but I keep giving them to Him over and over again. I end up doing just what Corban said. I think about it. Instead of giving it to God and letting Him deal with it, I “talk” about it and analyze it. What a lack of faith I have had. I should just trust that God will work in the situation and stop begging Him for it. I’m afraid that this kind of behavior has robbed me of my joy. I say “robbed”, but I really mean that I gave it away. Having the Holy Spirit living inside of me means that I have joy, I only have to choose to walk in it. Jesus is my source of joy and happiness, not this old world.

Photo Tinks by WiddlyTinks.com

Where do I begin? This whole blog started out as a way for family and friends to keep up with us while we were on the mission field in Alaska. Since moving back to Alabama, I have struggled with what to do with it. I didn’t want to delete it, but I also didn’t want it to just sit here serving no purpose. I kept feeling like God wanted me to use it as an outlet to write the things He tells me—the things that I am learning and growing in—but the perfectionist and people pleaser in me has never really let me do that. I have posted a couple of things, but have had a hard time letting go and letting God write my blog.

Well, I finally decided to let go! For so long I have tried to be the perfect wife and perfect supermom only to be left feeling defeated when I obviously couldn’t reach the perfection that I desperately strived for. I have come to realize that I have been trying to please man and not God. I have been so afraid for so long that I wouldn’t measure up that I never really expressed my true feelings or let people see the true me. This has been something I have dealt with my entire life. I have never really reached my full potential because I am afraid it won’t be perfect. Because of this ridiculous strive for perfection, I find myself not completing very many things. If it isn’t perfect, I will re-do it which leaves me with a lot of unfinished projects. I really can’t tell you how many times I have started over in my checkbook register because I have either entered something wrong or the numbers look messy. This is absurd!! I have finally come to the realization that no matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect, but if I do everything for the glory of God, He will make it perfect.

Hence, the reason for the new direction of this blog. I am embarking on a Bible study about Esther and her life has always spoken to me. She found herself in a situation that must have been difficult, but she listened to Mordecai when he said that she was where she was “for such a time as this”. Now, I am not a beautiful queen charged with the task of saving my people, but I am a daughter of the King of Kings who has been charged with the task of raising 2 little boys to be so in love with their Savior that they would go to the ends of the earth. I have also been given the task of being a supportive, encouraging, praying, uplifting, courageous wife of a minister of the Gospel. Can I do this all on my own? NO! In my eyes, I fail every time because what I do isn’t perfect, but Praise God I am where I am because He chose for me to be here “for such a time as this”. I promise to let go of the reigns and allow God to direct my path and allow Him to write my story. I will never be perfect and I will never try to be again. I will be me because that’s what God designed!

Shanna

Here We Go!

I am embarking on a new Bible study. This should be thought provoking and life changing. I will be doing this study with a group of women for the next 10 weeks. I can't wait to see what God teaches me through this!

Goldfish and Pure Living

So, I can’t believe I did it, but I got the boys two goldfish. Now, I don’t know anything about taking care of fish, but they begged every time we went to the store, so today I just gave in. We now have two new family members: Striker and Speedy. I was getting their bowl ready and there are a lot of steps to take before you can put those little guys in there! I thought you could just fill it up with water and then pour the fish in. Oh no! You have to clean the bowl and everything that goes in it, then you have to purify the water with this special stuff, then you get to put the fish in. And you have to feed them twice a day, but not too much. Whew! This is a lot more work than I thought it would be. So, getting all this work done got me to thinking about our Spiritual lives. I mean, if I will go through all this work for two little fish that cost 38¢, why do I not take that much care with my Spiritual life and that of my children? Don’t get me wrong here, I read the Bible, and pray with my kids and try to only watch TV shows that are not too bad. But, is my house pure like the fish bowl? I went to extreme measures to make sure that there was no impure thing in Striker and Speedy's bowl. Have I gone to the same extreme to make sure there is no impure thing in my home? Have you? Think about this: “Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” –Romans 12:1-2
Shanna

Who Am I?

“Who am I?” This is the question that Merrill is answering while at camp in Alaska. It is the theme of the camp. It’s all about teaching kids who they are in Christ.
I got to thinking about this myself. And thinking, and thinking, and thinking. And the conclusion I have come to is….do I really know who I am in Christ? I mean, I know what the Bible says. I know that I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. I know that I am an heir to the throne. I know that my Father is the Creator of everything. I also know that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead now resides in me. Glory!
I know all these things, but….
Ah, yes. The infamous “but”. I know all of these things, but do I live like I believe them? As Christians we know what the Bible says about us, but I wonder how many times we live like we are defeated? It seems so easy to let the devil defeat us. When things don’t go our way, or when it seems as though our prayers are unanswered, doesn’t it seem to get easy to forget who we are in Christ? Let this be a challenge to you and me both. Don’t ever forget who you are and what Jesus did for you. To say that we are anything less than that would be calling Him a liar. Praise God I am a daughter of the King!!
Shanna

Bumps, Bruises, and Trips to the ER…

I have always heard that little boys were rambunctious and prone to scrapes and bruises, but that has never rang so true than in the past few days. Corban loves to climb trees and perform all kinds of dare-devil stunts and while he is being Evil Kineval, I usually turn my head, close my eyes, and whisper up a quick prayer of protection. I am always afraid that we will be rushing to the ER with a broken bone of some sort. What never crossed my mind was a concussion! You see, for once in his short little life, Corban was simply swinging. No George of the Jungle type moves, just swinging. For some reason, he fell out of the swing backwards (we now know that he has an ear infection which probably caused him to be off balance). Well, he hit the back of his head on a cinder block. It made a pretty bad bump, but it didn’t break the skin, and we didn’t know he had lost consciousness, so we said “Oh, you’re tough and you have a hard head, we bet the rock is broken!” Now, before you start judging me, let me just say that I would have taken him to the ER right then if I had known he had lost consciousness, but because I didn’t, we went on with our normal routine. Until Monday afternoon. I got a phone call from the after school care that Corban had a BAD headache and was dizzy. I then found out that he had fallen again that day, he didn’t even remember falling, and he didn’t remember falling Sunday either! Off to the Dr. we go as fast as I can get there. She said he had an ear infection and a concussion and watch him that night for recurrent vomiting and a list of other things. Wouldn’t you know it, we were up all night with him throwing up. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when he threw up, it happened in the hallway and he slipped on it, fell, and hit his head AGAIN!!! I know that you know what we did then; off to the ER for a head CT. Praise God it was clear, but we were told that he could have headaches and dizziness for up to a month. Poor baby!
I hope this never happens again, but with his dare-devil personality, I am sure there will be more bumps, more bruises, and unfortunately, more trips to the ER!

My Ball Players

Corban tried out the catcher's position

Collin is excited to finally be old enough to play ball!

Shanna

Snow in Alabama

This is for my "family" in Alaska. Yes, we got 6 inches of snow in South Alabama!







Shanna

Catch Up

So many things going on in the Davis house! It is fun here, but oh so busy! We have begun baseball season and are at the ballpark every night except Wednesday. My chair is loaded in the back of my Jeep and there it shall stay! The boys are really having a good time. Corban's team is the Sidewinders and Collin's team is the River Cats. I will be posting pictures as soon as I can remember to take my camera to practice. (Laugh here). Well, I know that everyone is leading a busy life whether you are constantly at the ballpark like us, or doing an endless amount of schoolwork, or maybe you are up to your elbows in diapers and bottles. But remember in the midst of all your chaos that God is still there waiting patiently for you to talk to Him. He is a great listener and a calm in the middle of the storm. I pray your day goes well and the peace the passes all understanding is yours. God bless!

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

Shanna